The Pattern We Keep Falling Into
When overwhelm strikes, I often don’t even realise it until I’m in the thick of it. Then, as I finally start to emerge, I have this fleeting thought – I should really put something in place to stop this happening again.
But by that point, the intensity of how bad it felt is already fading. I got through it, I’m fine, right? So, no need to organise self-care. Onward. Normal life resumes. Time passes. Then things mount up and – bam – overwhelmed again.
That’s the cycle I want to break.
Overwhelm isn’t just having too much to do; it’s that sinking feeling that we’re failing, that we’re falling behind, or even that we’re somehow not enough. And when we’re in it, not being able to see a way out makes it ten times worse.
That’s why I created my Rescue Section – a go-to space when I’m overwhelmed, designed to:
- Remind me what to do next when my brain has turned to soup.
- Help me check in with myself so I don’t just push through and repeat the cycle.
It’s a tool, a safety net, a little beacon of sanity. It stops me from floundering and keeps me on the path I actually want to be on.
The Overwhelm Cycle
The early stages of overwhelm don’t always look like panic. Sometimes, they sneak in as tiredness, grouchiness, or feeling under the weather. It’s as if my body is quietly pleading: Please. Just. Stop.
Surely, if I paid more attention, I’d spot these warning signs earlier and do something about them? Practicing mindfulness? Checking in with myself?
Yes…in theory.
But in reality, we humans are incredibly skilled at repeating dubious patterns that don’t serve us.
Even when they lead to frustration, exhaustion, or even illness, we keep running the same old script.
So, yes. We need to break the cycle.
The Guilt of Resting
Recently, I had a whole week alone. No distractions. No deadlines. Just me (and my two lovely dogs, of course). Such a treat! The reality of that week alone though? It turned out to be a bit of a challenge.
See, I’m someone who – let’s just say – expends a lot of energy making sure my husband’s life runs smoothly. Not because he asks me to, but because… well, I just do. He’s fully capable and actively encourages me to stop over-caring for him, but old habits die hard.
The result? I struggle to put myself first. Even when my body is practically begging me to slow down, I push through. And why? Because I feel guilty about stopping. I feel like I should be doing something useful. That if I rest, I’m lazy or weak.
Wow. That’s some seriously unfriendly self-talk. And I wouldn’t dream of speaking to a friend that way, so why do I do it to myself?
Self-Talk & Compassion
Imagine if we spoke to ourselves the way we’d speak to someone we care about. Not with empty platitudes, but with actual kindness. Hey, you’re doing OK. It’s okay to slow down. You’re allowed to take a break.
And, crucially, actually listening to that voice instead of brushing it off.
When the Body Forces a Break
Ignoring the warning signs doesn’t always end well. Sometimes, it just results in a rough week. Other times? Full-on shutdown mode.
Last week, I ignored the tiredness. I pushed through. And my body, fed up being neglected and pushed aside, decided to make the choice for me: fever, stomach upset, and exhaustion. There. Now you have to rest.
Carers and nurturers will know this feeling all too well. When you pour yourself into looking after others, there’s often nothing left for you. But here’s the thing – if we don’t listen to ourselves, eventually, our bodies will make us listen.
A Week Alone, Learning to Just Be
My grand plan for my solo week was to be wildly productive. Lists, schedules, goals – oh, the things I was going to achieve!
But I got sick. So, no schedule. No grand plan.
Normally, this would send me into a mild panic, desperately trying to salvage productivity from the wreckage. But instead, I had a realisation: my Rescue Section needed to be about more than just doing. It needed to help me with being too.
That quiet space showed me something important: I forget how much I love writing. How much I need it. And how often I push down emotions that desperately want to surface.
So, I wrote. And somewhere in the process, I felt something shift.
A Rescue Section for When It’s Needed Most
Here’s a possible layout for a Rescue Section. It’s meant to be reviewed regularly – monthly, quarterly, or whenever feels right – so it actually stays relevant. The main thing it needs to be shaped around what works for you.
Feeling Overwhelmed?
- Pause and breathe.
- Trust the system*. Don’t overthink (*I have a system for how normal days look, too)
- Pick one small, easy task and start.
- Take a break, go outside, then try again.
- Play The Playlist (yes, a playlist is an essential survival tool).
Mindset Reminders
- Doing one thing at a time is okay.
- I am building something meaningful, one step at a time.
Checking In
- What emotions am I feeling right now?
- How tired am I?
- What do I really need in this moment?
Sustaining the Shift: Creating Your Sanctuary
This isn’t about adding another thing to the to-do list. It’s about creating a Rescue Section that’s a purpose-built sanctuary – a safe, accessible place that reminds you of what’s true for you.
A place where self-care isn’t another task but a built-in support system.
My best ideas – my moments of clarity – don’t come from grinding through work. They come when I’m in my happy place. Walking. Creating. Listening to music. Letting my mind breathe.
And yet, when I’m overwhelmed, I resist those very things. I convince myself they’re a waste of time, a way of avoiding reality. Jeez.
But what if I just trusted my own advice?
This is about breaking the resistance to self-care – not just once, but permanently. A real, meaningful shift.
Because the more we allow ourselves to do the things that light us up, the more resilient we become. The more direction we find. The less we feel lost.
And, crucially, the more ourselves we get to be.
